If you thought politics in the U.S. was a sloppy, gross business…you were right.
Still, we’ve got nothing on our neighbors to the Asian East.
America’s political sphere may host bribery, affairs, and cheating. It’s perhaps rife with hypocrisy, phoniness, and foolishness. The arena of government might be filled with self-righteousness, pettiness, and narcissism.
But as the saying goes, no one’s perfect — let he who hath not stood in front of millions and said the exact opposite of what he thinks while doing the exact opposite of what he demands as his pockets fill with cash courtesy of an unwitting and/or unwilling public cast the first stone.
Plus: We may do it dirty here to a point, but at least we don’t involve…pig guts.
We may sling mud, but we’re not pitching pork (we only spend it).
We may exchange insults, but never innards.
Anthony Wiener notwithstanding, our debates get saucy, but there’s never sausage.
The same can’t be said of Taiwan.
Hence, on Friday, lawmakers for the Republic of China went hog wild.
As reported by The Daily Wire, during arguments over an upcoming policy change to relax restrictions on pork and beef imports from the States, all heck broke loose as legislators threw punches and slung slimy swatches of swine.
From the Wire:
Premier Su Tseng-chang was set to deliver a report on the matter during a parliamentary session when legislators from Kuomintang (KMT), also known as the opposition Nationalist party, created a stir by dumping bags and buckets of pig organs in his direction.
Yep — it’s a stirring strategy guaranteed to really mix things up.
Holy cow moly, witness the whipping:
Pig guts were thrown across Taiwan’s parliament on Friday, as fights erupted between lawmakers over a soon-to-be enacted policy that would allow imports of US pork and beef.#5News pic.twitter.com/9zTA2yMpok
— Channel 5 News (@5_News) November 27, 2020
When reps from the ruling Democratic Progressive Party attempted to stop the KMT, things went full-boar barnyard.
TDW commentates on the carnitas carnage:
Video of the altercation shows elected leaders brawling as a DPP member wrestled a KMT foe to the ground where swine intestines, hearts, and other body parts were strewn about. KMT aides blew whistles and sounded air horns as parliamentary staffers attempted to restore order. DPP called the protest “disgusting” in a statement, condemning the stunt that it said “stank up” the chamber.
It was a sow-er show, indeed:
Pig guts and punches hurled during Taiwan parliament row pic.twitter.com/7zNMWmIBOe
— The Independent (@Independent) November 27, 2020
“When you were in the opposition, you were against U.S. pork, now that you’re in power, you’ve become a supporter of U.S. pork,” said Lin Wei-chou, a KMT lawmaker who led the protest group donning black t-shirts that said, “oppose ractopamine-pork.”
Pactopamine, by the way, is an animal feed additive that’s still legal in America but banned in the European Union and China.
Maybe they should also bar the use of it in battle. Particularly at the capital.
Still, Taiwan’s not the only foreign federal fight club showing America what’s what what.
Just (almost) in time for Thanksgiving, here’s how they do things in Turkey:
And who can forget the hubbub of Hong Kong’s Hoi-Dick trying to take a seat — literally:
In Israel, politicians don’t mince words…or necessarily need them:
As for other eye-popping parliamentary to-dos, though no pigs were involved, the UK’s Brexit brouhaha saw naked activists protest by…showing their ham:
Putrid politics is an outrageous octagon of dirty deeds and over-the-top assaults, and America’s certainly seen some bloody blows lowly-leveled over the years.
Still, for my money, in the Filthy Fighting department where congressional conflict is concerned, the current champ — like so many other things in the world — is Made in Taiwan.
We get gross over here, but geez — even by Washington standards, what the Taiwanese do isn’t kosher.
-ALEX
See more pieces from me:
How to Save the Planet: During Brexit Debate, Climate Activists Glue Themselves to Parliament. Naked.
Woman Fights Brexit by Stripping Naked on Live TV & Challenging Politician to Nude Debate
Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten Socializes with Squirrels, Gets Fanged by Fleas – in His Punk Rock Pants
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