Need a pick-me-up this Sunday afternoon? Well then, this thread is — on how a campaign yard-sign war between neighbors ended with “two pounds of brisket,” “a mason jar of pre-mixed Manhattans,” and a really nice thank-you note — is for you
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We’re in a yard sign war with our neighbors. Having already matched their sign for a rival congressional candidate, we put up a sign for our preferred presidential candidate last night. By this morning they had matched us with a presidential sign of their own.
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 5, 2020
We’re going to have go seriously down-ballot in order to maintain escalatory dominance. On a more pleasant note, we love these neighbors: they mix a mean Manhattan, and they love our kids. I repay their love in gifts of brisket and ribs on the weekends.
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 5, 2020
Plot twist! I was downstairs reading last night when I thought I heard a commotion outside and someone scream “F*** [name of politician]!” I came outside this morning to walk the dog, and my neighbor’s new yard sign had been stolen. Things have escalated in the yard sign war.
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 6, 2020
I’m now obviously concerned that my neighbors think I absconded with their yard sign — or that we have, at the least, a principal-agent problem in which one of my (un)trusted proxies has done so. I will make a peace offering of brisket later today.
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 6, 2020
UPDATE: They put another sign out! It’s a different color scheme and everything. I’m so impressed with this feat of logistical prowess. Did they have spare signs in the garage or something?!
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 6, 2020
I just dropped off about two pounds of brisket and a mason jar of pre-mixed Manhattans with a note affirming our election year “peace offering.”
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 6, 2020
Just a reminder that after the elections, we’re all still going to be each other’s neighbors. (I mean, until half of us are sent to the re-education camps, at least.)
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 6, 2020
You guys, I just got the nicest thank you note from my neighbors, who apparently had an(other?) ugly incident last week regarding their yard signs and were just so touched by our offerings. “Politics is politics,” they wrote, “but neighbors are neighbors.” Amen.
— Andrew Exum (@ExumAM) September 6, 2020
Do you mean to tell us reports of an inevitable civil war are perhaps overblown? Imagine that!
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